The Heart Of Friendship
by Matti356
Summary: Learning how to be a good friend was hard for Killua. He'd never had one before, but with Gon's help he learns a lot. Sometimes when friendship gets intense it turns into love. Will he realize that before it's too late? A Little Twist On The Anime's Story Romance/Friendship/Drama/Suspense/Angst
1. Chapter 1

Japanese Words:

Gomen'nasai=I'm sorrry

Arigato= Thank You

Ne= Hey

 _Italic words mean that the text is a thought or flashback._

Enjoy!

* * *

 **Desires**

Born in a family of assassins is the worst thing that could happen to a young boy. Unless of course you enjoy killing people. A certain silver haired boy is supposed heir to being the ruler of the Zoldyck family. A family of assassins. One of the most well known family of assassins in the world. Of course looking at the silver haired boy you'd only see a loner. But looking past his looks, conceals immense strength, power, and a past filled with blood. However when the mirrors of his past shattered, the shards acted as wake up calls that struck his aching heart. Torture training, everyday murder, and isolation in that mansion. A lonely world. When he ran away he left a tear at his family's bond. Mentally and physically. Today he is quietly taking a break from his travels, at Whale Island. A nine year old boy wandering around on his own is a peculiar sight for the older people. It would make them nervous causing them to scold the boy.

The silver haired boy was sitting on top of a bench's backrest. His hands cupped his chin as the tip of his elbows acted like support that was planted firmly on his legs. He was calm, without a worry in the world. He closed his eyes and tried to relax as he felt the early morning sun heat up his face. He was quite pale, but only because of the time he spent in that mansion. The boy only escaped last year and was always on a cruise to a different place so that he could fully experience what the world's wonders hold for him. His fighting skills earned him money. His favorite place was the Heaven's Arena. He earned lots of money, but he usually'd just blow it off on some sweet, sweet candy. Then in an irritating second, the boy felt something poke his face. He threatened the person poking him. A threat to beat him up that's what.

"Hey." It was a boy's voice. He had an annoying voice. Squeaky and high pitched. A kid.

The previously relaxed boy's senses were turned on. "Why didn't they turn on earlier," was a question he asked himself. Maybe it's because he was so relaxed?

The boy opened his eyes and leaped high from the bench. He landed an foot away from the kid. He unsheathed his fists, readying him for a painful strike. The silver haired boy focused his eyes on the raven haired kid that stood in front of him grinning. He rubbed his face awkwardly to where he was poked, it felt weird. Touching was always a threat for a punishment... Poking was different. It seemed childish and...fun?

The silver haired boy's eyes shined like orbs as the sun's rays reflected from the. He attempted to present an intimidating look to scare away the boy. Blue aquamarine colors from his eyes shined. To no success of scaring away the child in front of him, he performed an assassination technique. Rhythm Echo. The after images materialized as the raven haired kid's eyes showed a sign of confusion.

The dumbfounded boy in the middle of the stance reached out to touch an afterimage. He fell down after tripping on a stone in front of him. The raven haired boy's face planted onto the ground. The silverette's stance instantly stopped. The contents of the pack on his back made a loud sound. Did something break? The silver haired boy looked at the other boy with a cruel look.

"Cool move! You were even able to trick me!" The boy on the ground's voice was muffled and it made him sound like an idiot.

"Huh? You're not scared of me?" asked the confused ex-assassin. His eyebrows spasmed a little bit. There was a kid who wasn't scared of him and he didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to react to it. What was he supposed to do?

"No, but this is payback! Ha!" The boy on the ground pulled a fishing rod from his backpack. The fishing rod's hook wrapped around the silver haired boy's causing him to fall. The ex-assassin had a funny feeling. He felt like laughing. An emotion that wasn't sadness or hate. He prevented his laugh. The new feeling felt wonderful.

Maybe laughing isn't so bad. He let it out in one big breath. He looked like a fool.

"My name's Gon!" The raven haired boy offered a hand. The eyes of the boy next to him sharpened. His hand was smacked away painfully.

"I'm sorry..uhh Gon, my name is Killua." The silverette said scratching the back of his head.

"Where are YOUR parents? I haven't seen you before in Whale Island before?"Gon rubbed his hand. He tried to ignore the pain on the surface, but Killua could really hit.

Killua's eyes widened.

"I'd rather not see my parents. They're... How about let's just say I'm a boy your age travelling around the world," Killua said. His lips barely parted. A secretive atmosphere was resonating from him.

"Well then let me show you around!" Gon stood up and tugged on Killua's wrist in an inviting way.

Why does this boy keep touching hi?. He'd let so many moments pass he couldn't hold it! Killua just followed with his left hand casually placed in his pocket.

Running through the trees already felt like an adventure so where is this kid bringing him to? There were mostly palm trees in the forest, but there were also a few oak trees.

In a quick slide of his boot Gon stopped both of them. His raven colored hair swayed in the wind as he climbed a tree that seemed higher than the other trees.

 _"How long does this kid expect me to wait here?"_

He was up there for a while. Killua would look up once in a while wondering if he'd left him or not. Then in after ten minutes, fruits started falling on Killua's head. What was this boy's intentions? To kill Killua!? That'd be impossible at the other boy's age.

There was a loud thump as Gon jumped off of the lowest tree branch.

"So this is what I waited ten minutes for, and twenty minutes of running through the woods!?" asked Killua. Bitterness was obvious in his voice. Crossing his arms only made it worse.

"Taste one!" exclaimed Gon forcing an apple on Killua's mouth.

"Phoo! Hey watch it!" Killua was yelling now. He grabbed the apple and held it firmly on his hand.

"Juuuust try it!" Gon laughed mischievously. The apple was shot straight into Killua's mouth when Gon smacked his arm up.

Killua bit down. It tasted so good! The texture was just right. Crunchy, but still soft. And it's sweetness was out of this world. It was a balance between salty and sweet. But the sweetness seemed to overpower the saltiness. Perfection and balance Killua sometimes wished for.

"This is great!" Killua said without smiling.

"Oh loosen up and help me collect these for Mito-San," said Gon nudging Killua on the shoulder.

Gon put down his yellow backpacked unzipped it and started filling it with apples, two at a time with one in each hand. Killua joined in to. There were a lot of apples so it took a long time. Killua never stared at Gon's eyes a least once. On the opposite side, Gon just kept moving his head up and down to look at Killua.

"Is there something wrong with my face?" asked Killua blushing.

"No it's just that you never even asked who Mito-San is. And you just helped me," Gon said as he shrugged his shoulders.

Killua shrugged then bit down on another apple.

"All done now! Let's go!" Gon excitedly said. His hand reached for Killua's arm. The silverette's eyes sharpened.

This time Killua used his left leg to sweep Gon down.

"Stop touching me... If you keep doing that then I'll probably be provoked to injure you," demanded Killua. He shouldered Gon's yellow pack and walked back the path they had walked on.

"Here let's take a left," said Gon. He wanted to reach for Killua's wrist, but he knew it was wrong.

The walk was uphill. The height would usually cause people fatigue, but to Killua this was nothing. Like usual he put his hands in his pockets and walked normally. The gravity pushing down on him didn't matter as long as he's standing up straight.

"We're here!" Gon excitedly said as he opened the door. "Mito-San I'm home and I brought a friend with me!"

"I'm coming dear! But are you sure that person with you is a kid. There are petite people you know."

A woman with orange hair came out the door. She wore a caring, kind motherly on her face. Killua already saw that she wasn't the real mother, there was barely any resemblance to Gon. She wore a white apron over her black and red dress that reached just above her ankles.

"Well hello dear, do you want to come in?" asked Mito. "Oh my an actual child!"

"Oh Mito-San, he's not staying here. He just wants to travel around the world," Gon simply said.

Mito shot Gon a terrifying look that said to just put the apples in the fruit bowl. Killua noticed this and gave Gon the backpack.

"You know what I'll stay here for a while. It seems like a nice place," said Killua looking around. And in the corner of his mouth was a tugging smile. "I'll try to find my own place here. I'll just stay at the inn while I still have money. I could always camp after that. I could also live off of the island's fruits."

"Well you know you could always stay with us?"

"I don't want to cause any trouble. You've already got yourself a handful." Killua pointed at Gon. The boy dumped the whole bag of apples onto the wooden fruit bowl

"Tell you what, when I was little we had a small house before just right through there. No one uses it anymore and it's clean. Stay as long as you like, just don't destroy anything," offered Mito pointing towards more trees.

"Great more trees, but it'll do!" Killua bowed as he ran through the woods to check out the small house.

 _"Hmm what a mysterious kid."_

When Killua ran through the woods. He thought about his family. They were horrible! All horrible! His Big Brother was horrible, His Mom and Dad were horrible. Due to his anger, Killua's hands were modified into their sharper version. His nails were sharper than knives. They were weapons...for murder.

Killua looked backed to see claw marks on the tree. Did he do that? He needed to control his anger and power or he could really hurt someone. He focused really hard to get it back to normal and it worked. His hand was a nine year old's hand again. It was always hard to control his power when he was angry. He didn't want to hurt anyone.

After getting through the countless palm trees, he saw a lovely old house that gave him three words. Home. Sweet. Home. Well at least until he leaves, but Killua didn't want to leave anymore. For some reason, the things that he saw here were beautiful and should he say were neat. Maybe there were more stuff in the island yet to see?

The silver haired boy approached the house door slowly. He was still in a state where he can't completely trust anyone. Sometimes dishonesty comes from it. When the door was finally pushed open. There it was the living room. A kitchen complete with a fridge, a dining table and stairs that led up to a room with a bed. It had a closet and a bathroom.

There was a loud knock on the door. A strange pattern Killua's never heard before. Then he remembered, he left the door open.

"Ne, Killua! I want to show you something."

"What is it?" asked Killua suspiciously.

"Follow me," said Gon smiling and walking down a dirt path.

 _"Finally no more forests!"_

Gon was completely silent when he walked down the path. It was as if he was a different soul altogether. His eyes were fixed on the path. Even the birds and crashing of the waves didn't distract him. Suddenly the air became cold. Wind started blowing on Killua's face. Why did this island have to give him such a good time? The crashing of water became louder. Then mist started to shroud their surroundings.

"Here we are."

The view was amazing! There was a wooden railing that covered that cliff leading to a view of a grand waterfall. The rays of the sun reflected on the water. Like Killua's eyes, but much more beautiful.

"Thanks for bringing me here Gon," said Killua grabbing Gon's hand. He squeezed it a bit and watched Gon winced at the pain.

It was slowly wrapped with a white bandage. The hand that Killua grabbed was the aching hand he'd slapped away earlier that morning. One loop, two loop, three loop, Gon's body stiffened. His hand really was in pain, he just didn't want to tell Killua.

"Thanks Killua!" Gon beamed at Killua. Somehow Killua cracked a smile.

* * *

Killua woke up at peace for once. No yelling men gossiping about him and scolding him. He got up off of bed, made it and folded his clothes. Killua then went in the bathroom and started to take a bath. It was obvious that Mito's been here because of the new soap. It wasn't there yesterday.

The warm water felt good on his face. He let himself sink in the water. Only his eyes were visible above the water.

His hair was damp after taking his bath. It quickly spiked up again after being dried off by a towel. When Killua looked in the closet, and found new fresh clothes . He put on a black sleeveless top and brown pants. He got outside only to be greeted by that annoying pain. Gon.

"Good morning!" greeted the Raven haired boy.

"Oi, Gon good morning!" Killua waved. He thought he was a pain, but something about Gon was making him smile. Ugh it's not like he's his friend. Plus, assassins don't have friends. At least that's what his older brother Illumi said. Oh how he hated him. "How's your hand?"

"My hand still kind of hurts." Gon looked at his bandaged hand.

Killua nodded.

"Have you ever gone fishing before?" asked Gon holding up his fishing pole. He chuckled and smiled.

Maybe it was Gon's smile that made Killua happy?

"Are you going to teach me how?" Killua teased.

"Well yeah. It wouldn't be nice if I didn't," Gon laughed as he cast the fishing rod over the cliff and into the sea.

Huh? The silverette never knew his house was next to a cliff.

Killua watched for a long time to see that Gon was really at ease. He waited so patiently, not even twitching once. Then... snap! There was a bite. Gon struggled to pull it out. When he got it out of the water, they realized that

"Here's breakfast!" Gon said as he picked a stick from his pack stuck it right through the fish immobilizing it. He cleaned the fish and started a fire.

"Okay how's this supposed to be teaching me fishing?" asked Killua getting a little impatient.

"You can't start a day with an empty stomach!" Gon said pointing a finger in the air.

Gon roasted the fish on the fire slowly. Killua's stomach was growling at him. The scent of the fish was amazing.

Usually he could last a day without or water, but smelling food didn't help. It just made his hunger squirm inside of him. Killua looked at the cooking fish and started to drool. Gon started taking out plates from his backpack and also a blanket. He set the blanket on the yellow-green grass and placed three plates down.

"That took long!" Killua laughed using his fork to collect the fish's succulent belly. The fish was softer at that side along with it being tastier. Killua took a bite and immediately smiled.

"Good right!" Gon said as he stuffed his face with fish.

"Yep!"

"Let's finish it then!"

 _20 Minutes Later..._

"You're a fast eater!" teased Killua. He sat there as he pointed at Gon.

"Gon, doesn't your hand hurt every time that you fish?"

"Well yeah, but I gotta do something."

"Now let's teach you how to fish." Gon stood up and held his fishing rod firmly. He explained the proper way to hold the fishing rod and cast it. His aquamarine eyes were fixed on Gon.

Killua thought this kid would be annoying as hell, but he seemed kind of nice. Killua felt like...smiling instead of remaining expressionless. When he was little, he smiled, but those were the times when he killed for sport and his Dad and Illumi congratulated him for it. But. If what had been done to the corpse of his victim didn't satisfy both of them, they would torture him. The scars had disappeared from that time and back into the pale skin.

"Now you're turn Killua." Gon offered his fishing rod to Killua. The silver haired boy did what Gon told him to do, but still there was no bite.

"Gon I don't think this is going to woooooork!"Killua was accidentally pulled by a fish due to the fact that he wasn't paying attention.

He tried to pull the fish out of the warm ocean waters, but he was far to close to the cliff's end. Quickly he regained traction with his shoes and pulled the fish out of the water by force. The fish was in the sky and it looked like the catch of a lifetime! It landed straight on Killua's hands.

"You did it Killua!"

"Yeah!"

 ** _A Year Later_**

Killua sat on a couple cargo box stacked on top of another near the dock while he ate an ice cream. Chocolate. It was his favorite flavor. He licked and finished his ice cream slowly. It added more flavor on his tongue.

The silverette had adjusted his feet where right foot was below of his left leg. It was quite peaceful on Whale Island. He had decided to stay there until it was the right time to leave. It made him sad to think about ever leaving. Or at least, if Gon leaves.

"Hey kid!" Killua eyes fastened on two men who were sailors. "Get off of our boxes!" The men said it rather...demanding.

"No," Killua said smirking.

"One more time kid."

The silverette stuck a tongue out and began to wave a middle finger at them.

"Why you!" The two men had their hands on the silver haired boys shoulder. Each man had one hand on each shoulder. There was blood splatter and the sound of screaming as Killua stood up. The sailors dropped hard to the ground. He puckered his lips and started whistling leaving the two bodies.

"Could've just asked nicely," Killua said to himself.

Killua heard a sound from behind him as he walked on the path that went through the village. It sounded like clapping. Hard clapping like how it sounded if someone of his family's strength would clap.

Killua's eyes widened and he stopped walking. It got him thinking about who could be the one clapping at people who've just been killed. Obviously assassins. Assassins enjoyed death as much as enjoying their favorite thing. Because it _is_ their favorite thing. He turned around slowly and looked at the ice cream he'd just dropped. It was launched straight at his face. Killua's eyes became sharp and his mouth twitched. He dodged it in a flash. He turned around to see a suspicious looking man with a brown hood.

"Who are you?" asked Killua taking a step back.

"You know me and you've lived with me," The man chuckled. "I made you."

The sun shined in to the man's hood and completely revealed his identity. All Killua could think of was to step back. His hear began to thump louder and louder. He trembled down to the ground. His finger's began to dig into the earth. Numb. The way he'd feel at _home_.

He knew who the man was. Silva Zoldyck. His own father.

"W-Why are you here?!" Killua yelled in shock.

He stood up quickly and ran behind the man. Killua adjusted his hand and morphed it into the knives that were used to kill the sailors.

He tried to stab them in the man, but it was stopped by a powerful grip on his wrist. The grip was powerful. Painful. It reminded him of the torture he'd been through. His whole body was shaking in fear. Was he going back to the isolation room?

"You've grown my son," said Silva lifting up his hood."I know you still train yourself and that you get nightmares every other night. Don't resist it. Play with it. It'll make you stronger. More of a killer!"

"Stop it please! Let go of me father!" Killua struggled and shook.

The fear and the pain he felt came back to him. His heart thumped against his ribs. It was beating faster and faster. His head thrashed around and he kicked at his father's knee. The kicks didn't bother the man. He just let it pass so that Killua could tire himself out trying to fight back.

"P-please just let me go!" Killua kept struggling.

"As you wish." Silva threw Killua across the path.

The silverette used a little bit of his strength and took a step. He fell down to his knees.

"Pathetic..."

Silva dashed towards Killua and struck him straight on his face. This sent him flying once again.

"P-pl-please just let me go."

"This is for your own good." Silva took out a whip from his pocket and lashed it at Killua. With every strike, he cringed. His whole body began to shiver. He bounced at every single strike.

 _"Stop... Please stop... I don't want anymore of this... If anything just kill me! STOP! PLEASE! YOU'RE HURTING ME!"_

Killua screamed high and loud. He screeched.

"STOP IT FATHER! I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE! IT HURTS! PLEASE!" Killua kept on screaming and for the first time in year, he was frightened. His body and mind had gotten numb.

Silva chuckled.

Killua gasped for breathe. His whole body ached with pain. All the strikes were placed where no one would see it. His father was as smart as ever. Silva walked towards him, got down to his level and spoke."That was your punishment for breaking the family."

Killua whimpered.

"Come home. You don't have to stay. Just show yourself to the family. If you don't, there will be consequences for Gon."

"H-how do you kn-know him?"

"You know my sources." Silva smirked.

Fear and sadness started fill Killua's body. His body shook. If Gon were to suffer the consequences of his family. Then...then they will break him. Torture him from the break of dawn to the darkness of midnight. He'll be an empty shell by the time they're done with him. The real Gon would be gone. He wouldn't be able to talk to Killua anymore. Gon'd just be gone. Into nothing.

He couldn't let this happen. Gon was Killua's happiness. His smile and how he tried to teach him that touching doesn't always mean a engagement for a combat. Step one: Calm Down. Step Two: What's the situation? Last Step: Make the right response. Those three steps. But choosing the decisions he desired would hurt Gon. So he had to hurt himself.

Killua shook his head and tried to act tough.

"Okay. I'll come and show myself, but I will not stay."

"Understood," Silva said disappearing into thin air.

At least Gon was safe now. Killua walked down the path to where the town was and kept passing through. His stomach ached from all the whipping. It hurt everywhere...

He saw people look at him and point out his messed up clothes and freaked out face. He had to talk to Gon that he was leaving or else that kid'll go crazy. Maybe he even liked him in that way, but Killua just thought him as a weird boy. When he reached Mito's house he was about to knock when Gon had appeared from behind him.

"Killua I'm right here, is there something you need?" asked Gon holding his fishing rod.

"I-I just wanted to tell you that I'll be going somewhere. Don't follow me. And don't try to get contact with me because my business right now involves something you don't need to know about," said Killua with his fists clenched. His feet then started moving.

"Wait! Killua don't run away," Gon caught Killua's wrist before he had the chance to take his first step. The silverette had to bear with the pain of Gon's grip. His dad's grip had really hurt him. Gon's hand fell to Killua's. It squeezed his then slowly it slipped away.

After letting go of Killua's hand Gon began to dig for something in his pocket.

"Remember me by this," said Gon handing Killua a carved wood figure. It was shaped like an aquamarine orb. "The real crystal and its color kind of reminds of your eyes."

Killua shook Gon's hand and took the wood crystal. He turned around, but Gon's hand on his shoulder was preventing him from advancing. The silverette tried to shrug off Gon's hand to no success. Instead he was spun around and enveloped into a warm hug.

"Arigato, Gon," Killua whispered.

"Now go Killua," Gon said smiling softly.

Killua ran through the seemingly endless "forest of thoughts" to get to his house. His emotions seemed to open up in that forest. His thoughts just told him that he saved Gon. While knowing that he was eventually going to be hurt when he got back in the Zoldyck mansion. His running accelerated. He just wanted to get to the clearing where his house stood.

As soon as he got there he began to pack up his food and clothes. Once again he ran to a dock, but this time not to escape, but to go back.

The last time Killua ran like this was when he ran from home. His feet ached at that time. The branches from the trees that shrouded the Zoldyck family Mansion tore pieces of his clothes. He had to buy some from his spare money.

Killua's been hopping from boat to boat by that time. That's when he accidentally missed the earliest boat from that island. He didn't care that he missed the last boat, but he was thankful he got on the next boat. If he'd boarded the first boat, or any boat at all, then he would've gone somewhere other than Whale Island.

As soon as Killua had got on the boat he was on his heartbeat was speeding up again. His aching bruises seem to hurt again. The thought of returning to Padokia was...something even Killua couldn't bare. His family was his biggest fear. The fear of being locked up again.

Those thoughts were what made the ride long and nauseating. When the boat finally stopped Killua blindly got down from the boat. He fell into the water. He was way too distracted. But on the bright side, falling into the water was the highlight of his trip... At least he got to go for a swim. He quickly swam back to shore and headed for Kukuroo Mountain with his hands in his pocket.

* * *

Reaching the base of Kukuroo mountain, there was the stone wall. Killua saw how a lot of people came to tour around here when he was younger. He'd sit atop of the gate and watch the idiots foolishly enter the intruder's door and get killed by Mike. He'd laugh at all the people who'd been tricked. Then when he'd get fed up by all the people, he'd snack on a lollipop.

Killua's father talked to him about the Testing Gate a lot. But he never tried to open it until the time when he escaped. Three doors opened when he used his strength. Killua vowed to improve that. Now, he looked at the gate and waited until less people were around. Killua pushed with all his might and still opened three doors. He spat on the ground his mind filled with anger. He wasn't strong enough to open four doors.

Killua walked in and remembered how it smelled like blood when he entered his family's forest, or more like-backyard. It still felt cold. The screams that he heard here were the most terrifying ones a human can ever produce. But if Gon were with his family. His screams would be all the sounds of people's screams. Tripled.

Killua bit his lip. He closed his eyes and remembered his pain again. The tip of his eye shined then it disappeared. Killua remembered where he wasn't aloud to cry during his training. Now wasn't the time. So he walked on, smiling at Mike when he saw him.

"Killua welcome back!" greeted a girl who's about Killua's age.

She held a staff that a yellow orb on the end. This girl served as the guard for the mansion. Killua remembered watching her battle for the first time. She defeated an entire group of intruders. Killua smiled when she defeated all them easily, while demonstrating Rhythm Echo in the process. She could never be his friend. The girl would be killed by Killua's mother. "Assassins don't have friends. Stay that way my sweet 'Kil," is what Killua's mother used to say. She was wrong. Forever wrong.

"Hey Canary," Killua waved.

When Killua quietly walked past Canary, He smirked and faced her ear.

"I think I finally want a friend," Killua said his bangs falling to cover his eyes.

Canary smiled. She held a hand up in the air, but it went straight down. She knew that Killua's mother was watching from the depths of the dark forest. Killua continued to walk past her. He remembered the looks of the path. The way he ran. The way he kept on tripping on the stones. The way his feet tried to keep quiet. Canary let him go when he passed her that night. It was obvious that she was punished.

 _"I'll find what you call a friend,"_ Killua whispered those exact words to Canary. Then she smiled and let him through. But that was then and now is now.

When Killua entered through the Mansion door. He was greeted by couple butlers. The long dark hallways was something he didn't want to see anymore. The torches that were attached to the walls shined light through it.

Realizing that none of his family members stood in the gloomy hallways, Killua expected them to be in the Family Room. Not all of them of course. Millaku's probably in his room. It was also possible that some of the family were in a mission that they were assigned to. Slowly opening the door to the Family Room, he was greeted by familiar expressionless face. A face filled with cruelty and danger, Illumi's face. His clear eyes looked at Killua then let him through without saying a word.

"Welcome back my sweet Killua," said Killua's mother looking at him. "Illumi, please leave I need to talk to Killua."

Killua's mother sat on a couch that's located in the middle of the room. Unlike the hallway, the other rooms are much tidier and nice looking.

Killua looked at his mother with softer eyes. He had no choice. The things that could happen to him would be extreme if he disobeyed an order. The couch was warm. His mother looked at him and said nothing. Killua was the first one to speak.

"Gomen'nasai," he whispered.

His mother smacked him on the back of his head.

"You want a friend!? You're weak pathetic!"

Killua lowered his head. One beating was enough for today. Now his back was beginning to hurt as well.

"You don't need friends! Friends are for the weak! You have you're own power without friends! You'll grow through training!" Killua's mother began to scream.

"Stop it! You can't command me forever!" Killua raised a fist at his mother's face.

"Oh you're going to hurt me again are you? Go ahead."

The silver haired boy's took a moment to charge his fist. Then it was surprisingly stopped. He struggled against the grip on his wrist. It was crushing. Something one of his family members could only do. Weaker than his father, but certainly strong.

"Good Night 'Kil," said Illumi.

Killua's head was smacked really hard. He felt his eyes close slowly. The only thing could think about was _Gon._

 _"Be safe G-Gon."_

* * *

"Killua!" Gon yelled as he sat up from resting on the beach shore.

Gon had been thinking of Killua ever since he left and now he's getting restless. Having constant dreams about Killua getting hurt wasn't pleasant either. Gon knew he was tough because of all the training he'd been doing on his own. Gon only left whenever Killua was training even if Killua never saw him. Gon always assumed it was for the Hunter Exam, but there was something different about the training. Killua sometimes harm or hurt himself to improve his performance.

 _"I have to get home it's getting late."_

When Gon got home for dinner, he played with his chopsticks lazily. Click. Click. Click. His heartbeat was out of place without Killua by his side. He sighed and dropped the chopsticks on the food he barely touched.

"What's wrong Gon? You've been very out of place lately," Mito asked as she squeezed Gon's shoulder in a comforting way.

"Nothing Mito-San."

 _"Killua please be okay!"_


	2. Chapter 2

Japanese words and meaning! ^^

Gomen'nasai = I'm Sorry

Baka = Idiot, Stupid or Fool

Hai = Yes

Ne = Hey

Arigato = Thank You

 ** _Unidentified Emotion_**

Gon watched as the bath tub filled up with hot water. He climbed in with a blank face. Killua brought him happiness the past year, but without him, he was back to being lonely and alone. He still had his clothes one, as the warm water seeped in them. It felt differently with clothes on in the bathtub. The hot water was just at his back and he didn't mind. He lied down on the bathtub's surface and thought about the time when he and Killua accidentally ended up in the same bathroom. Hilarious it turned out.

 ** _Flashback_**

 _Killua, Mito, and Gon were having dinner. Turkey was served. It was a cold night. Very cold. Gon ate his piece of the turkey and tried to eat it politely, but he couldn't. He just chomped down like a lion. Killua on the other hand had put up his most polite stance of eating he could do. He knew Mito already had Gon, so he needed to be as helpful as he could. She did give him the house after all._

 _"Ne, Killua, why aren't you eating your food?" asked Gon._

 _"Gon, this is how you politely eat. You... just devour your food," said Killua keeping up his stance._

 _Gon chuckled and went back to eating. Killua laughed as he watched Gon. There was still something about him that just made Killua want to laugh and...smile. Like any year, Killua still as cautious as he is. Using shadow step whenever Gon barges in his house uninvited or sharpening his hand when Mito asked him to chop some vegetables for a dish. He tried to hide it though so they would not realize that he is a Zoldyck._

 _"I'm finished! I'm going upstairs now, bye!" Gon excitedly said while racing upstairs._

 _Mito shook her head and smiled. She looked at Killua and tilted her head in an awkward way._

 _"Don't worry Mito, he's fine. In a way he does bring people happiness," said Killua taking a sliver of the turkey in his mouth. He looked up and stuck a teasing tongue out._

 _"Well Gon has always been like this. He's just filled with light and kindness. He really is like his father," Mito said tilting her head._

 _"There's also something I wanted to thank you about, Mito." the redhead looked up with her motherly stare. "Yes Killua?"_

 _"Thanks for the house that you gave me. I would still be wandering around form island to island if it wasn't for you," Killua used his index fingers to push the edges of his mouth creating a smile._

 _"A smile's never complete without bright eyes!" Mito chuckled pushing Killua's eyelids with her thumbs. This contact made Killua's heart race in anger. "Just breathe," he thought to himself._

 _The two of them kept eating the turkey in peace without a single word. The silence got Killua thinking again like usual. The thoughts of his family reclaiming was horrifying. He visualized a point of a Ben's Knife entering his wrists. He was forced to endure the poison. He closed his eyes and remembered his struggling, but this time, he saw Gon saving him._

 _After hearing Mito talk, Killua immediately snapped back to the present and listened. The way she talked to him was motherly. Like he was her own child. Killua felt as if he didn't deserve love. Love... What did it mean? His dad always showed him "love" was only obtained through his blood-stained hands. A hand shake or pat on the head was all he ever got, nothing else._

 _"Mito, I have to go to the bathroom. I can't remember where it's located."_

 _"If you go upstairs, go to the right, the door will be there," said Mito smiling._

 _Killua stood up silently and pushed the antique chair in. He climbed up the stairs with a blank face, entered the bathroom and went over to the toilet. The curtains shielding the bathtub were closed and Killua heard only the dead silence from behind it. There were the droplets of water dripping onto the water, but he assumed the curtains were just wet. The sound water shifting began after a couple minutes. Killua pulled his clothes back on and tried his best to focus. A bead of sweat rolled down his forehead. Could the person back there be Gon? It was impossible. Why would Gon leave the door unlocked?  
_

 _Before getting to even open the curtain, it was flicked across to show Gon taking a bath. Killua's face immediately glowed pink. He saw Gon...exposed right in front of him. He turned around and picked up one foot getting dragged back by a hand._

 _"Come join in!" Gon excitedly yelled, pulling Killua's arm forecfully.  
_

 _Killua fell back on to the cold waters of the bath tub. He struggled from Gon's grip trying not to hurt him. Water splashed everywhere. The door was closed and the room was soundproof. Killua was trapped._

 _"Gon, please let me go," Killua said calmly through the struggles._

 _After finally getting off from Gon's grip, Killua stood up and pressed his back against the door. He was breathing heavily and opened the door slowly leaving those somewhat red eyes that begged at him to stay. He ran downstairs dripping from bath water. His shoes were soggy and wet. He slipped and hit his chin on the wood floors. He hit it HARD. Killua got up rubbed his chin like nothing happened and ran out the door._

 _Killua ran through the forest that led to his home. The pink glow were still on his cheek. Branches that seemed to reach for him scratched and bruised him. The crunching of the leaves surprised him. But through all that, he kept going. Blood dripped from his cheek. Something he hadn't seen for a while. It started to rain. It made him more soaked. When he reached his house, he immediately went in and closed the door. He washed and cleaned all his wounds._

 _"That baka!" he yelled out loud._

 _There was a knock at the door. The first knock in forever. Killua opened the door only to be tackled by a hug. He was pushed back a little, but his wet socks served as traction._

 _"Gomen'nasai, Killua," whispered Gon._

 _Killua didn't hug back. He let his arms fall, but the hug was the warmest he'd ever experienced from Gon._

 ** _Flashback End_**

The water in the bathtub had risen to the height of Gon's ear. He still looked at the ceiling. Thoughts of Killua was flooding his mind. Like the way he always smelled like vanilla. The way he'd blush with every compliment. And how he'd look away when the women of the island giggled and looked at him. Gon considered him a friend, but never for a second did he expect that Killua thought the same. He was always so cruel and mean. There was just no way.

The water was at scalding heat, just the way he always had it. It stung his eyes, but he learned to tolerate it. He shifted his body and sat up hugging his knees. More memories of Killua raced through his mind. The first time he laughed and smile for him. Those kind eyes hidden behind those orbs were unbelievable the first time he saw them. They became soft and happy for a second then they morphed back into those terrifying flames. The thing that brought those were the most that tickled his funny bone. It was candy.

That day, when he saw Killua eat candy was the one of the most wonderful, strangest, tearful day.

 ** _Flashback_**

 _Killua sat at the edge of the cliff where the majestic blue waterfall cascaded down to the depths of the water. He tried to hide the last lollipop that he had. He always ate candy, but he never wanted to share his sweet "toothiness" to Gon. That kid would just ruin it for him, like always. But somehow every one of those moments didn't turn out so bad._

 _He licked the lollipop slowly, trying to savor the last bits of lemony sugar it had. It was a bunny lollipop that he held and it was his favorite flavor. Lemon. Killua never figured why he liked the sour flavor it. Maybe it's because he was sour himself._

 _"What are you eating?" asked Gon from out of nowhere. He was standing atop a tree that was next to the cliff. Killua scoffed at Gon and looked away trying to hide the plastic stick in his mouth._

 _"Oh nothing," said Killua babbling over the stick inside his mouth. Yellow liquid dripped down his neck after trying to speak._

 _Gon jumped down next to Killua and noticed he was choking on the stick._

 _"Hold still Killua!" yelled Gon trying to fish out the white plastic stick._

 _After a few minutes of choking and struggling, Gon finally got the plastic lollipop stick._

 _"You didn't have to do that," said Killua crossing his arms and looking away._

 _After fiddling with the sticky, saliva covered lollipop stick. Gon dug for some money from his pockets. He handed it to Killua and pulled him up. He started to push him irritatingly on the back, urging him to go towards the village._

 _"What's the big idea!?" exclaimed Killua._

 _"Ne, Killua, if you want candy. There's a candy store in the village," said Gon laughing._

 _Killua froze, turned around and beamed at Gon. He'd been trying to conserve as much candy as he could in a week and he ran out. Now Gon's telling him that there's a candy store? His eyes widened and became happy and inviting. Killua bounced up and down. He picked up one foot and he sped to the village. He looked around and found the candy store. Killua ordered as much candy as he could with the money Gon gave him._

 _After the purchase, Killua had a bag of candy which he promised to himself he was going to share with Gon. He raced back to the waterfall, tripping a little bit._

 _"Did you get what you want?" questioned Gon._

 _"Why don't you go check?" said Killua giggling and opening the plastic bag at Gon's face._

 _Trying hard to hide it, Gon reached in and grabbed a piece of chocolate._

 _"Go on, there's a lot for both of us," said Killua trying to prevent the tugging smile on his lips to be released. "It is your money." Gon shook his head laughing as he remembered he was the one who actually "bought" the candy._

 _The two boys were resting their backs on the fence as they ate candy. Killua ate slowest as he tried so savor every last taste of it. Gon on the other hand kept chomping down as much as he could. When he turned his head to watch Killua eat, he was mesmerized and had curious look on his face. He thought most kids just pushed in all the candy in their mouths, but Killua was different. Finally he got the courage to ask._

 _"Why do you eat it so slowly? We can get more if you want!" Gon whispered, giggling at the end._

 _"I don't get much candy where I come from," Killua said flatly._

 _Gon shrugged and kept eating. When he looked over to Killua again. He was eating a piece of chocolate little by little. After finishing Killua took another candy and started the same way as the last one. Gon frowned. Becoming irritated, he bumped Killua on the shoulder using his own._

 _To Gon's surprised Killua bumped him back his eyes never leaving the candy. It went on like this for a while. The boys were bumping shoulder back and forth. The more they bumped the stronger it became._

 _Forgetting to control his strength, Killua bumped Gon with an incredible amount of force. Gon tipped over the fence with his back facing the ground._

 _"Gon!" yelled Killua climbing on the fence._

 _"No Killua stay there!" It was already too late as Killua had already leaped off of the fence._

 _"Grab my hand! Please Gon, just trust me!" Killua yelled as he stretched his hand out for Gon._

 _Gon grabbed Killua's hand and looked at him weirdly. Their combined weights made them fall feet first._

 _Their faces were ignoring apart. Ignoring the close contact, Killua threw Gon over to the river as he kept falling down to the forestry._

 _"Killua no!" Gon was screeching now. He stretched his arms out to get hold of Killua, but he was already too far._

 _As Gon fell in the water, Killua finally sighed and grabbed a tree branch when he fell down to the forestry. He caught with ease, but it broke after five seconds. He fell straight down to the hard ground._

 _Killua observed his hands and looked away to see that there were cuts and blemishes everywhere. He stood up ignoring the growing pain on the palm of his hands._

 _"Gon! Where are you? Oh, please don't tell me you can't swim!"_

 _"I'm here Killua," said Gon popping out from a bush. "I don't care how you survived I just care that you're safe."_

 _The silver haired boy's guard went down for a second. He blinked once and stared at Gon. He sighed after catching a glimpse of Killua._

 _The two stared at each other contemplating how Killua survived without a single scratch. Their eyebrows began to dance and roll. Killua looked away blushing. He'd never stared at Gon this long before._

 _"The way back home is over there, the cliff gets smaller." Gon pointed to the end of the river. He motioned his hand for Killua. He skipped up the road home._

 _Killua shook his head and followed with his blistered hands in his pockets._

 _"You're too slow!" Gon called out after Killua._

 _"You're too fast," Killua muttered under his breathe._

 _The path back to Mito's house was excruciatingly boring for the both of them. Killua sighed every time when Gon tried to bring up the mood. Ignoring the boring atmosphere, Gon kept a smile and grinned at Killua from time to time._

 _When the twosome got home, Killua stretched his arms up to the ceiling trying to shake off the pain that was on his hands. Mito was waiting at the door, with her hands on her hips. Her face had an intimidating, angry look, or at least she tried. Gon scratched his head and laughed nervously as he tried to explain what had happened._

 _"Well you see Mito-San, Killua and I fell-!"_

 _Killua's hand covered Gon's mouth._

 _"We found an injured bird and we nursed it back to health." Killua lied straight to Mito._

 _"Then what is with those red marks on your hands Killua?"_

 _The silver haired boy shrugged, removed his hands from Gon's now red lips and placed them in his pockets. Killua scoffed and went inside with his head down. He pulled the wooden chair causing a screeching noise. He sat down and looked back at Mito and Gon who, were watching every single one of his actions._

 _"What's this weird taste?" Gon questioned himself. He licked his lips. "It's strong and bitter."_

 _"It's blood Gon," Mito whispered lowering herself to Gon's ear level._

 _"Am I a Vampire!?" yelled Gon. "I'm...eating it!"_

 _"Baka!" Killua muttered._

 _Killua turned his back to the two of them and looked down at a bowl containing soup-no, porridge. He reached for the spoon right next to it and dropped it back down. It landed on the hot porridge making it splash on Killua's hand. Killua closed his eyes tightly and winced in pain as he watched the thick substance run down to his wrists. Killua caused another screeching noise when he stood up and pushed the chair back. The noise caught both Mito's and Gon's attention. The silver haired boy pocketed his hands and walked past Gon and Mito ignoring their calls. When he was clearly out of sight, Killua started running back home._

 _"Mito-San, why is there blood on Killua's porridge?" asked Gon pointing at the red drops of porridge near Killua's spot._

 _"Gon, I don't know."_

* * *

The water had turned cold and it was slowly engulfing Gon's body. He giggled at the thought of the day. Water slowly entered his mouth when he laughed. He shivered when the water shifted temperature. It was like this every single when Gon was alone... Well "is."

He watched as the water climbed up to cover his eyes. Gon inhaled as much air as he could with his nose and held it. His whole body shifted a little bit as it adjusted to the lower temperatures of the liquid. Small air bubbles came out from Gon's nose and mouth. His eyes were completely open to watch them rise and get released.

Gon remembered when Killua was here, that he'd know that he'll be waiting downstairs when he was done taking a bath. But Killua wasn't here... There was not enough hope to actually be quick. Be excited and happy. To make him smile. To make him blush and to hug him.

The water was blurry and more air bubbles rose to the surface. The pouring of the water became more high pitched than usual. Drops of water slowly made their way to the bathroom's tile floor. The bathtub was overflowing.

 _"Gon!"_

He thought that he heard Mito's voice, but he ignored it.

It had been two and a half minutes since Gon was submerged, and he started to hear waves of water filling up the bathroom tile. Fifteen seconds passed and he was feeling a little light headed and he wanted to sleep. In a torturing way, he felt his lungs get filled with water. His eyes started closing, the light in his somewhat red eyes were disappearing. Suddenly a pair of hands pulled him up and out of the water.

 _"Killua is that you?" Gon thought._

"Gon what's gotten into you!?"

"Mito-San... Gomen'nasai."

Mito's motherly arms coiled around him tightly. Gon stretched out his arms and hugged her back. His breathing was uneasy and he coughed up a little bit of water. Cold water spread between them. A big watery mess came from the forgotten faucet.

"Gon don't ever scare me like that ever again! I don't want to deal with you doing this every single night again! I don't want to lose you and I know the change is hard, but he's going to be okay!" Mito was yelling and her voice cracked. Tears ran down her face and onto Gon's.

"What if he's not okay? Will I be...alone forever? I don't want to fake my smile anymore. He made me smile for real..."

Gon was ignored, but the motherly arms that were entangled around him tightened even more. He tried to move his head to meet Mito's eyes, but Gon's feeling of guilt overcame him. Tears streamed down his face like Mito's.

He reached for the faucet and turned it off. Gon let his arms float on the water after that. Mito released Gon as soon as she saw what he was doing. She smiled and stared at Gon.

"Gon... He's going to be okay wherever he is... But right now the best thing we can do is wait. Now go get cleaned up, we have some meatballs ready downstairs," Mito said patting Gon's head.

After smiling and reassuring that he was okay, she stood up walked to the door. Reaching the door arc of the bathroom, Mito clenched her fist and gritted her teeth. A final tear fell down her face before she finally went downstairs.

With a shivering hand, Gon pulled the plug from the drain. He stood up in the bathtub and hopped out of it.

The bathroom tiles were very slippery. Gon's steps were carefully placed among the mats in the bathroom. He grabbed the towel that was hanging on the door handle and he dried his hair with it.

Looking at the mirror, the only things Gon saw were mirages of when he and Killua were snapping towels at each other. He looked away and placed the towel back on the door handle.

Gon's silence on the outside would've fooled anyone, with his blank expression and tired eyes. It was different in the inside. He was frantic and screaming in his brain. There was a feeling inside of him that he never felt about anyone else being gone.

When he reached for his closet, he caught a familiar scent in his nose. Vanilla with a dash of strawberry or was it blood? His nose twitched when he finally opened his closet. Gon realized that Killua left some of his clothes here. They smelled sweet like Killua. Gon pressed them up to his face like the way he'd hug Killua. Realizing what he was doing, he gasped and dropped the piece of clothing.

His face mimicked the pink glow that he'd usually see on Killua's cheeks. Gon grabbed his cheek and squeezed it to make it stop, but it was no help. It was a feeling, an unknown emotion that he ignored.

When Gon got on new clothes, he looked over to the bed and a flashback had crossed his mind. His and Killua's first sleepover. It was a very cute memory. Although it was filled with arguments, Gon giggled.

 _ **Flashback**_

 _"A sleepover? What's that?" Killua turned his head sideways as he looked at Gon. His eyes became crisscrossed._

 _"It's when another person sleeps at another person's house. Preferably as friends." Gon laughed as he smacked Killua's head. The strike was answered with a slight growl from Killua. "Well? Will you have a sleepover with me Killua?"  
_

 _"Pfft! No way am I ever going to have a sleepover with you!" Killua exclaimed trying to hide the slightest amount of regret._

 _Gon grabbed Killua's shoulder and looked straight at his eyes. The light reflected in his eyes while they got big. The cuteness level was overwhelming for Killua. He looked away and raised a shielding hand in between his cheek and Gon's somewhat red eyes. Killua's cheeks turned into a shade of pink._

 _"Baka! Do you expect me to fall for those childish eyes!?" Killua took a look again at Gon's eyes and his face was no longer a light pink shade, it hard turned scarlet._

 _"Pleeeeaaaaasssse!" begged Gon._

 _This time, Killua smacked Gon straight on the forehead._

 _"Fine." Killua eyed Gon for second. "But it won't be in my house," continued Killua planting his hands on his hips and raising his chin in the air. All with a proud mischievous look._

 _Gon hugged Killua tightly, gripping his shirt in the process. Before Killua's hand reached Gon's shoulder to push him away, the raven haired boy pushed himself off of Killua. He gave a weak smile then stood up from where they were sitting in Killua's bedroom._

 _"You should start packing up because it's going to be tomorrow!" Gon exclaimed excitedly._

 _He started to rummage through Killua's closet afterwards trying to get his stuff ready for him. Gon motioned for Killua come help and Killua shook his head._

 _"Ne, you're the one who wanted me in a sleepover," he said sticking a tongue out._

 _"You have a point," Gon responded still picking out clothes._

* * *

 _"So Killua, you and Gon are finally having your first sleepover!" Mito exclaimed eating a little bit of her food._

 _"Yes. I hope for the best! From what I can tell Gon's is a handful!" Killua teased bumping Gon's shoulder in the process._

 _Gon responded with a punch to the shoulder. Killua ignored it trying to keep up his cool atmosphere. Mito laughed as she watched Killua fight the urge to throw back a punch at Gon's shoulder._

 _"It seems that you two will have a good time. I'm pleased to see you two are having fun." Mito smiled, placing the palm of her hand below her chin with a supporting elbow. "Just promise me one thing. Don't sneak out of the house. You never know who's outside during these times."_

 _"Hai!" said Killua and Gon in unison._

 _"Killua, we should get our stuff ready upstairs!" Gon excitedly said jumping up and down. He started to pull on Killua's arm stronger and stronger with each tug._

 _"Fine let's go..."_

 _The boys pushed in their chairs and headed upstairs. Gon skipped up while Killua was calmly walking. As soon as he reached the second step, he was was stopped by Mito._

 _"Killua I have a question for you. Do you really have to be so formal? I understand that I basically gave you your life here. I feed you, give you water and keep you alive... I don't understand why you treat me as if I'm a master of some sort that needs respect so that you'll get what you want? I just hope that you understand it doesn't matter whether you do this for me or not." Mito's eyes were sad and worried._

 _"I have my reasons... And I'm sorry if I troubled you in anyway..."_

 _Killua looked down to his feet and his eye lids went down halfway. He sighed and the veins on his hand popped out. It gripped the railing before he continued upstairs. He desired to lose sight of Mito. Memories of his training flooded through his brain. After being clear out of sight he held his head. He fell to the floor next to the wall, pressed his knees up to his chest and concealed his head between them._

 _"Ne... Killua are you okay?" asked Gon offering a hand._

 _"Gon... Let's just get the stuff ready." Killua stood up and entered Gon's room. There was no attempt of contact. Just pure silence until the sleepover actually started._

* * *

 _"What do you want to do now Killua?" Gon asked sighing and letting himself fall back onto his bed._

 _"I don't know... I've never been to sleepover," Killua responded pulling his sleeping bag up to his neck._

 _The light was still open and it was ten PM. Both of the boys were bored and the house had gone silent after Mito finished the dishes._

 _After five minutes of sitting down and doing nothing, Gon stood up and opened the window. It immediately became cold in the whole room. Fresh Spring breeze entered the room. It tickled Gon's nose when it hit him. On the other side of the room, Killua pulled the sleeping bag up to his mouth and he shivered for a quick second._

 _"Do you want me to close the windows? It's a little hot," offered Gon, scratching his head._

 _"I-I...Uhh... No Gon I'm fine," Killua said turning away from raven haired boy._

 _Killua shivered a bit more. The nights on Whale Island were normally freezing because of the ocean that was nearby. Killua wasn't used to this so he was still adapting to the temperatures. His teeth started to move too. They clicked against each other. His breathe was shaky. Condensation appeared every time he exhaled. Suddenly, a hand was placed on his shoulder._

 _"Killua you're freezing... I don't want you to hurt when I'm the one who wants something... You're my friend, it's okay to tell me what YOU want..."_

 _Again, that pink glow lit up brightly on Killua's cheek. He turned away from Gon, but arms seemed to wrap around the whole sleeping bag. Warmth immediately surged through his body. He found a small peace within Gon's arms, but after realizing where he was, he jumped off of the sleeping bag._

 _"Why don't w-we just play a game?" asked Killua rubbing his arms awkwardly._

 _"I have candy downstairs in the refrigerator. We could play a game of never have I ever! I have the cards downstairs too so let me get them!" Gon excitedly ran down the stairs._

 _Killua giggled a little bit. He lied down on Gon's soft bed. His arms were still crossed and the blush on his face was still there. There was something about that annoying boy that just screamed... home. There was this feeling Killua felt when he was around Gon. He didn't know what it was, but he knew it was special in a way. Goose bumps started to rise on Killua's skin, as the frigid gust blew inside of the room._

 _"Ne, Killua here." Gon had stretched his hand up just above of Killua's head. He was holding a white mug. A brown liquid dripped down from it and it fell right on the surface of Killua's pink lips._

 _He licked his lips and tasted chocolate. The drop of water was hot, but it was sweet._

 _"Gon you really didn't have to get me hot chocolate," Killua shyly said looking away. There was another drip on his cheek and slid down to his lips. He tried to resist the temptation to lick his lips. Even the smell of chocolate was enticing. He licked his lips once again._

 _Killua sat up from where he was lying down and he grabbed the warm drink from Gon's hands._

 _"Thank you..."_

 _"You're welcome!"_

 _Killua watched Gon set up the game as he took multiple sips from the white mug he was holding. Gon placed the Never Have I Ever cards between them in the center of the bed._

 _"Can you explain to me how this works? I really don't know how to play this game," Killua asked. The embarrassed tone in his voice was obvious._

 _Gon nodded with excitement. The boy was always so oblivious to a person's feelings and emotions. Killua giggled, but it quickly faltered._

 _"So the way you play the game is each player will pick a card from the card. For example this one!" Gon pulled a card from the pile. "Never have I ever cried in front of my friends!"_

 _Killua's head tilted to the side. He already knew he wasn't going to like what was in that pile. An unsettling feeling set down on him. Something tells him that all the cards were made by a certain red eyed idiot.  
_

 _"The rules are simple; you pick a card and if you've done what's on it before you get candy! Oh. I forgot to tell you. No lying!" Gon winked._

 _Killua nodded and gave an empty thumbs up._

 _"You can start Killua," Gon offered._

 _The white haired boy took a card from the middle of the pile and read it out loud._

 _"Never have I ever had a friend."_

 _Gon took a piece of candy from the pile and set it to his side._

 _"I'm your friend Killua," Gon said handing a candy to Killua._

 _Although the silver haired boy didn't want to, he was forced to take the candy and he set it at his side._

 _"Your turn."_

 _Gon took a card piece from the top and read it aloud._

 _"Never have I ever kissed a girl," Gon said taking a candy while reading the card._

 _Killua just sat there doing nothing._

 _"Not even your mother?" Gon asked with large eyes._

 _The silver haired boy shook his head. Gon's somewhat red eyes became soft and he desired to reach for Killua's hand. Seeing that Gon's hand was twitching, Killua quickly got a card and read it._

 _"Never have I ever hugged someone."_

 _"Geez these cards are stupidly childish," Killua thought._

 _Killua placed the card down without taking candy. Gon's concern was growing so he decided not to take candy._

 _"Don't lie to me, to make me happy," Killua bitterly said._

 _With that, Gon took a piece of candy and placed it next to him._

 _The game went on with silence. Gon was getting extremely worried before they were even halfway through the candy. Turns out, Killua's life wasn't so happy. It was filled with neglect and sadness. It seemed like he was isolated. Gon had made these childish for a purpose, but he'd never expect them to work. Then it came up. That question._

 _"Never have I ever loved som-"_

 _"We're done Killua!" Gon exclaimed stretching his arms up to the ceiling._

 _"I'm going to sleep," Killua said going down to his sleeping bag._

 _"Will you sleep up here with me?" Gon asked with a worried tone._

 _"Sure." Killua shrugged. How bad could it be?_

* * *

 _Gon's eyes popped open in the middle of the night to the feeling of shuffling next to him. It was Killua thrashing his head around his pillow. Gon was facing the opposite direction Killua was facing. He tried to ignore him, but he eventually heard a faint sob. Was he like this every night? Gon felt bad for Killua. Every night was probably like torture to him._

 _The raven haired boy quickly turned around and grabbed Killua's freezing hand. The crying stopped, but the shuffling didn't. He wrapped his other arm around Killua's chest, between his arms. The shuffling started to hurt him a little bit, but he needed to do this for his friend. Eventually the shuffling began to stop. He couldn't quite make out whether it was a whimper or a whisper, but he heard words coming out of Killua's lips._

 _"Thank you, Gon..."_

* * *

Gon snapped out of his flashback after hearing Mito's voice call him. He pulled on some random clothes quickly.

"I'm coming Mito-San!"

Gon ran down the flight of stairs and sat in his place at the table.

 _"Killua please be okay."_

* * *

"Pathetic child you are, running away from us!" Milluki yelled whipping Killua's shoulders.

The silver haired boy was tied up in chains in his family's isolation room. He had been trapped there for a week and the pain given to him was unimaginable. No water, food or sleep.

"Why wouldn't I? This whole family is getting torn apart from just one person running away!? That's what's pathetic!"

A extremely heavy slap was thrown across his face as he sat on the hard stone floors. His mother looked at him with eyes filled with anger. She left without saying a word.

"Now you made mother mad!" Milluki yelled throwing another lash at his cheek. Blood oozed out of his bruised cheek.

"Get mad!"

"Cry out in pain!"

"Suffer!"

Milluki kept on whipping Killua back and forth. On his back, shoulders and face.

"I'll stay strong, baka!" Killua yelled out with his loudest voice.

"Don't come talking to me about a friend, because friends are nothing! They're just garbage that's going to leave you one day!" Milluki cackled.

 _"Gon, please stay strong for me..."_


End file.
